So you’re interested in reading about Dog Fish Sunglasses Salad? You’re weird. Here is a sample of images from Google when you search for “Dog Fish Sunglasses Salad”. There seems to be more dogs than anything. Hardly a fish to be spotted anywhere. Sunglasses are common. The bat…well, I guess he saw someone taking a photo of the sunglasses and thought he’d better get in there before it was too late. The salad frog is nice. There are probably much worse things walking around on people’s salads that they don’t know about. And frogs are pretty clean. They don’t eat much either. The graduating dog really looks happy. I hope he got good grades.

…shout out to all the 30DC members!

I’ve just changed my blog theme to the grungy crunchy organic dirty bacteria-laden look you see here with the SoulVision WordPress theme. I love it. It’s so NOT web 2.0. It’s more like web 2.01, the first rebellion of design against the glossy-button look.

However, after a week or so, I noticed that Google Analytics was reporting no traffic. Yes, zero! It’s set up not to track my visits for obvious reasons, so I thought maybe all y’all had gotten bored of my clever and witty remarks, insightful observations and monkey-themed writings.

Nope. That wasn’t it. It’s this stupid theme. They forgot to add to footer.php! Der. So if you like this theme, Google it. I’m not given these morans any credit for breaking my plugins.

Coconuts out for a ride on a sunny day.

For all of you out there who have kids and wonder what us unmarried types do with our extra time…we do lots of silly things. Like listening to Howard Stern all day long, reading a book a day, memoriz(s)ing the dead kings of England, and this…

The Hundred Pushups Challenge

This website gives you a program to follow so that in 6 weeks you should be able to do 100 pushups(that’s pressups for the limeys). What a strange goal. It’s like trying to become a millionaire. But somewhat easier. And quicker too! You gotta have goals, right?

My summer exercise regimen was already in full swing. Yoga goes year round and I do a lot of bike riding when the weather is decent. So this challenge seemed like a nice diversion, especially since I work from home. Working in an office would have made this very difficult indeed.

I have to admit, it took more than 6 weeks. But not once did I go backwards. If I had, that would have been enough to stop the momentum. Changing my diet helped too. No kebabs. Those delicious dripping yummy pockets of shredded lamb. Chock full o’ lamb-y goodness.

So if you’re looking for a healthy diversion to your endless days of not picking up after the rugrats, this challenge is one that just about anyone can do, check out this site: The Hundred Pushups Challenge

I’ve recently changed my hosting company because I just couldn’t pass up this offer. For less than $10 a month you get…

• Unlimited Domains and sub-domains
• 600GB of server space. Yes, you read that correctly! 614233.53 Megabytes!!
• Unlimited POP3 accounts.
• Unlimited MYSQL databases

Currently I have about 20 websites running. Hosting multiple domains couldn’t be easier OR cheaper unless you do it yourself. But who wants that headache? Do I sound too much like an advertisment?

The little gator mascot is a “a bit naff”, but as I always say, you shouldn’t judge a company by the iconography they keep. Unlimited Domain Hosting Only $9.95 a Month

Painting elephants are lame. No personality. Painting dogs are stupid. They are just trying to eat the brush. But painting monkeys!!!! Now that’s talent.

What’s so bad about painting yourself into a corner anyhow? So you get a little paint on the bottom of your shoes. Who looks at the bottoms of people’s shoes anyhow? And these people (if they do exist) sound like some creepy buggers. I’m not sure they’re the type of person you should trying to impress with your wonderfully paint-free undersoles.

This is a photoshop I did for Worth1000 a while ago. I won a gold medal! Woo hoo! Wheeties Box, here I come.

It’s a simple merge of Auguste Rodin’s Le Penseur, with a turtle or two. The original photo isn’t mine. But the hours and hours or labouring over a hot macbook are! (Actually it didn’t take THAT long to complete.)

I also do birthday parties and bar mitzvahs.

Remember last year when the media, particularly in the over-reactionary U.S., when the bees started disappearing? What happened to that? I mean, have the bees come back or are they still missing? I’m currently spending some time in the coun-tree and it’s the beginning of June, and I’ve yet to see a honey bee. I’ve noticed a few bumbly-type bees, and one of those flies that pretends to be a bee to scare away bee-eating things. But no bee-bees.

The price of honey doesn’t seem to have gone up much. Although, I wouldn’t know since I bought a jar back in 1998 and haven’t finished it yet. It’s not that I don’t like honey. In fact, I love it! But I don’t like having sticky fingers. And after about the 4th time you open/close a jar of honey, the jar becomes a gooey sticky mass with the touch-appeal similar to that of drain-goo.

Maybe it’s not warm enough up here in the Lake District. Maybe they’ve all moved back to Poland after they found out all the good bee jobs were taken.

Whatever the case may bee (see what I did there?) I would like to know. I guess it’s time for a-googlin…

Tags: bees, honey, hysteria, mystery

I’m blogging with Flock! Woohoo! Now I might start updating this website more often. I still have nothing to say, but now it’s even easier to say it.

Twitter sucks. Peace out.